Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The uberlube is also flammable
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize