Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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