I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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