This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
