Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
