You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
