READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
