I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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