it's like iHOP with fire
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
