You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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