so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We are two peas in an std pod
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
