I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
