She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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