so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my liver is dry heaving
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
