I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize