Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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