What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
