I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
