i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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