I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
what day is it and did you see me today?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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