i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
