I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
