Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
