She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
