so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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