can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
