I just made out with a guy for $7.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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