weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
