it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
