lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
