; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
