Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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