craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I could fuck to npr.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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