Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize