Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
