Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
