I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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