i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
