im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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