Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
