I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
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