Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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