and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
