Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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