why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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