so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
