Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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