That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
