Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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