We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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