Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
