Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize