During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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