i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
