hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
