New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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