you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
