Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
