I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
