did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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