Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
