Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There was a lot of him and a little penis
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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