At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i will never coherently bang her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My feet surprised me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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