I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
